The commentated version of the cliche-ridden pasta, courtesy of me.
Once, when I got bored on my computer, I decided to play a game that I haven’t before. I had heard great reviews for Plants vs. Zombies, so I decided to check it out. I searched for a torrent, and I found one that seemed like the kind that I wanted to use… [obtaining "haunted" games by torrent is a cliche]
I could only get 1 seed for the torrent, so it took about a whole day to download. The next day, after it finished, I opened it. It was in a folder named “ZPlant.” Rather than being named “PlantsvsZombies.exe” or “PvZ.exe”, the application was called “deadplants.exe.” [at this point they should've been suspicious already, but of course, curiosity always killed the cat] When I opened it, it seemed normal, except for a few minor differences, such as how the music sounded a bit off key, higher than usual. [man, distorted and out-of-tune music is one of the MOST overused video game pasta cliches. BOOOORING] When I clicked on the button for Adventure Mode, it never showed the animation of the hand rising up from the ground, nor did it play the sound effect that goes with it. The call played at the beginning of the stage was replaced by a scream, which made me jump at first. [again, this is one of the most overused video game pasta cliches, and at this point a sane person would've realized they should stop playing] Other than that it seemed normal.
The first level seemed harder than usual, even with only one lane to defend. The zombies ended up eating one of my peashooters. [explain "harder", is it because there's more zombies than usual or is it because of some tougher zombies that should've been introduced later on appearing here] The next stage seemed a bit difficult, too. The zombies came a bit early, and one of them actually got two of my sunflowers. [oh I see] I wondered why someone would make a game so much more difficult like this. Despite the raised difficulty, I pushed on. [clearly, what would happen next is always gonna be terrible. Stupid is as the main character does, indeed]
While playing through the first few night stages, I noticed a few weird things. The sky was dark and stormy, rather than clear. [cliche] The graves, rather than having silly or comical inscriptions on them, it had names of celebrities that died recently, such as Amy Winehouse. I wondered if whoever hacked this version of the game put that up as a joke, because I didn’t find it very funny. Whenever I used a grave buster, a message popped up that said, “Why?” Was this game trying to teach kids a lesson? [no, it's because they wanted you to stop playing you idiot]
Later on in the game, the music seemed to be messed up. In the fog levels, the pitch of the music got higher with each level, until in the last level it was almost unbearable. [again, that overused cliche] Then, it the first roof level, in the place of music was a faint static. [yet another overused cliche] With each level, the static got louder and louder, until it was so loud that I had to turn off the music. [bonus cliche points for making it extremely loud at a point]
Instead of the last level with the Zombot, when I finished the last roof stage, it went to a black screen with white text on it saying, “Why did you do this to us?” I wondered what that meant… [that means you're a total dumbass for continuing to play this "haunted" game, either because you're indeed a fucking moron or because you're not a sane person who would normally shut the game down and delete it when such shit occurs]
After that, the game went to a level that looked like the lawn at the beginning, except it was half as large and there was another lawn on the other side of the screen that was an exact mirror image of the lawn I was planting on. [I have no idea on how to visualize this, the lawn is in a checkerboard pattern and splitting it wouldn't make much sense, unless if there's some kinda line halfway through it like the one in Wall-nut bowling] In the beginning when it showed the zombies that I would encounter in the level it was empty. [what is this, Invisi-ghoul?] I selected the following plants: sunflowers, peashooters, repeaters, twin sunflowers, magnet-shrooms, coffee beans, torchwood, and pumpkins (I still had only 8 slots.) [you dumbass, everyone knows that every player would've upgraded to 9 or 10 slots at this stage of the game]
I turned the music back on from before, but it appeared that this level didn’t have music anyway. [over-FUCKING-used cliche] The level played out normal at first, and I could only plant on the lawn on the left. I got the chance to plant 5 sunflowers before anything happened, and then, on the other side, a peashooter appeared, except this peashooter looked really creepy. [oooHHHH] In the place of eyes were dark, soulless voids. [lol, trying to pull out sonic.exe shit didn't you, also ANOTHER overused cliche] Unlike with most Creepypastas I read, [that just breaks the entire immersion! Not that it matters because this pasta is shit anyway] the eyes didn’t have a red pupil in the middle or anything- just dark, soulless voids. [cliche is still cliche] It started firing peas at the sunflower that I had in that row, except the peas that it fired looked old and diseased. [again, more cliche] It ended up killing my sunflower like in ZomBotany. Then, after that, two sunflowers were planted in the lane above it, and they had the same dark, soulless voids for eyes. [spoopy] It was then that I realized that these were the plants that had been eaten by zombies. [oh did you just realize it NOW?] Whenever one of the plants on the other side was planted, the screen grew a bit darker and less saturated. [cliche]
The plants’ numbers were getting overwhelming. [what? I thought the lawn was only a 9x5 grid, half of them is approximately 4x5, so it was only possible for this "haunted" game to plant up to 20 plants] All of my plants were dying quicker than I could plant new ones, and I was barely able to kill any of the opposing plants. I knew that this wouldn’t go well. [ALT+F4 you dumbass]
When the screen was about twice as dark as it should be, the saturation had already been reduced to grayscale. After a while, the screen was almost too dark to see. [ooohhh, another one] At that point, my plants had been weakened to just a few sunflowers in pumpkins. [#ripplants] The screen was starting to blur itself, and it stopped at the point when I could barely even see what was going on. [yes, because you're fucked at this point]
Eventually, the scene kept deteriorated to the point where the whole screen was just black. At that point, I could hear the crunching noise that plays when a zombie makes it to your house. [oh noes!] Instead of the normal shout that plays, the screen just turned white for about 7 seconds. Then, the screen turned vertically striped red and white, and I could hear a HORRIBLE DISTORTED SCREAMING NOISE THAT ALMOST FREAKING POPPED MY EARS. [OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHH, I LOVE THAT CLICHE!] Then, the application just terminated, and it just went to my desktop. A message popped up that said some random characters with no particular pattern to them, just leaving me startled thinking, “What the heck was that?” [that means you've been a victim of being in a shit creepypasta]
Now, whenever I try to open the application back up, it just goes to a black screen, then a white screen, then the red and white stripes and plays the same distorted scream, and then closes itself, leaving the same nonsensical error message. After that experience, I’ve never pirated another game. I’m very angry that any sick idiot would make such a thing, because that screaming noise will forever be stuck in my head. [oof, if only you stopped playing before it was too late]
I hope that some day the plants in our neighbourhood will stop dying. [expectation: to make this pasta a bit creepier, reality: nah, it's cliche ending]
Credited to Mooplerish