Not yet written.
Ernest and Dmitri[]
AK-47[]
Looks like you've got an AK-47. (SLIGHT PAUSE) The AK-47 was the former preferred assault rifle of Soviet forces. It's chambered for 7.62x39mm cartridges, and 30-round mag actually designed for a prototype assault rifle in 1944 called the Sudaev AS-44. Earliest production was in 1949 and it's still manufactured today in some countries. This Russian thing is so tough that when you bury it in sand for a few hours or even days, and you take it out, it still works like nothing has ever happened, unlike more modern things like the M4A1 or the M16A4. However, the accuracy and recoil is poor on this guy, so you'll have a hard time trying to fire this in full-auto mode. (WHEN NO QUALIFIED ATTACHMENTS ARE DETECTED) To reduce the recoil and increase the accuracy, you can try using any of the following: foregrip, bipod, suppressor, or drum mag. (SLIGHT PAUSE) Foregrips are the most useful of all, since it allows you to hold it tighter, which makes for a greatly reduced recoil. Bipods help pinning the gun on prone position, suppressors reduce the recoil and noise and eliminates muzzle flash at the cost of damage and range, while drum mag helps reduce the recoil by increasing the gun's weight significantly.
(WHEN FOREGRIP IS ATTACHED) Ah, you've got a foregrip on that thing. That thing should greatly help reducing the accuracy by allowing you to grip it more firmly.
AK-12[]
It appears you've got an AK-12. (Slight pause) The AK-12 is the latest advancement of the AK series of assault rifles. The main problem is that most of the Russian forces still stick to the old AK-74 despite all the improvements, probably because it's hard to stick to another standard when you're already into an old standard.
VSS Vintorez[]
It appears that you've got a VSS. (slight pause) The VSS "Vintorez" is a sniper rifle manufactured by ... in .... It's integrally suppressed so you don't need an additional suppressor to attach. The design is based off the SVD, albeit much shorter, and uses special 9x39mm SP5 or SP6 subsonic rounds. An interesting feature on this gun is that it allows for selective-fire, so you can opt for full auto mode and spray some bullets. Beware though as it burns through your ammo in less than a second, so if you need that mode, be sure to stick some 30-round magazine from the AS "Val", which uses the exact same caliber, or use a drum mag instead. Also, if you prefer to use it for shorter-range applications, attach an ACOG scope or some EOTech or reflex sights. Obviously it's gonna turn into some kinda assault rifle, but it's worth a shot. Also, it has a very limited range due to its short barrel and utilization of subsonic rounds compared to any other sniper rifles.
Mosin-Nagant[]
Dmitri: Ah, looks like you've got a Mosin-Nagant. (PAUSE) The Mosin-Nagant is a rifle based on the M1891 platform. It's handy and reliable, and is used by the Soviet troops before SVD superseded it. It uses the exact same 7.62x54R rounds just like the SVD too. It's bolt-action though, so you're gonna have to be quick in bolting it if you need to kill enemies quickly.
(WHEN ONLY ACOG IS ATTACHED) Yours seem to have an ACOG scope attached. That's nice, since it allows for a balance between mid-range and long-range shooting.
(WHEN ONLY SUPPRESSOR IS ATTACHED) Looks like you attached a suppressor on it, which means that you can perform some stealthier kills. Just be sure you use subsonic loads to eliminate cracks.
(WHEN THE GUN MATCHES THE ADVANCED SNIPER SETUP) The one you're using has a long-range scope and bipod attached, as well as a suppressor. This basically matches by what I call the "advanced sniper setup".
MP5/4.6[]
Dmitri: Looks like you've got an MP5A3. (SLIGHT PAUSE) Wait, that's not a regular MP5A3. The magazine looks unusual.
Ernest: Well, it's an MP5/4.6
Dmitri: What? I've never thought it exists.
Ernest: It's actually a prototype of another MP5 variant. You know, they seem to be a bit weird for making too much MP5 variants.
Dmitri: I know. But how can there be the 4.6mm variant of it? I thought only MP7 and the never-finished UCP use it.
Ernest: It was a prototype variant that was ditched in very early tests, probably due to MP7 being intended as a successor to the MP5, and making an MP5 variant of it would probably cannibalize the MP7 sales.
Dmitri: Oh, you seem to know better than me in this case.
Ernest: Also, it has a 40-round magazine, just like the MP7 with extended mag.
Dmitri: Hmm...
Bersa Thunder 380[]
Dmitri: I see you've got a Thunder 380. (SLIGHT PAUSE) The Thunder 380 is a variant of the Bersa Thunder series of pistols. It's compact and perfect for concealed carry. Just as its name suggests, it uses .380 ACP rounds.
(WHEN SUPPRESSOR IS ATTACHED) When a suppressor's attached like that, it's not really perfect for concealed carry anymore, since its length is greatly increased. I suggest you should detach it.
Unnamed Saturday night special pistol[]
Dmitri: I see you've got an SNS pistol. (SLIGHT PAUSE) I couldn't ID that one but whatever. I think it uses .32 ACP rounds and is of questionable quality. It's much less durable than the half-decent pistols, but it's way cheaper, right?
Ernest: Yeah.
Dmitri: Apparently, the term "SNS pistol" is kinda racist, since it was meant for low-quality, low-cost pistols usually afforded by blacks. Also, there have been some controversy of banning such pistols due to being easily-affordable for criminals. However, the thing is that felons normally use high-end weapons, so it's possible that the ban was to prevent the blacks from having guns.
Ernest: Oh.
(WHEN SUPPRESSOR IS ATTACHED) It's funny that you attached a suppressor on it, considering that it greatly increases the length, but maybe that's what you like.
(WHEN HIGH CAPACITY MAG IS ATTACHED) That hi-cap mag certainly makes the gun more obvious, but it does help keeping you from reloading too quickly.
(WHEN BOTH ARE ATTACHED) I wonder why you put hi-cap mag and suppressor on it, since it greatly increases the size of that thing, in both length and height.